not dat dsperate la kn..

urm..ok skrg ni pkul 2.30 pagi...x ley tdo, myb sbb da tdo jap tdi...huu..my point here is, i hate wat is in my mind rite now, keep rewind d same thing...i feel lonely..i realy need a place to lay off..umah bangi mmg x bole la kn, mke my head bcome more serabut, umah s.alam? hah kem salam je la...x taw la nape lately rse cmni...i try nk bwang feeling ni jaoh2 dr idup, bt rite now, i cant, rse cm nk nanges...realy...sumtym i bcome moody easily, n i hate dat..mkin lme idup, mkin confuse ngan diri ni...i need sum1 to hug me n say"evrything will b ok nadirah, just wait ok?" i realy2 want dat situation rite now..i cant do this alone..*sigh*..lately ni gk, x taw nape ble nmpk dy je, rse mcm nk marah je...i knw bdose, bt, perasaan ni dtg secare ttbe, cmne nk bwat dy g jaoh2? i want to feel, how 2 b normal, tlg la bg mse tuh la skjap je pown jdi la..i really2 need it...pnat pretend dat evrything is ok, to mke a gud impression 2ward those whose seeing it..2ward those who already hurt my feeling..urgh...i feel sick+tired+moody==tension..knw wat, dlu2 when dis feeling came, dat person always calm me down..i mish dat situation..sumtyms, sy jdi cpt pelupe, cpt marah, pas2 ble da calm, i 4got wat im mad for..n hard to tell to sum1 y i mad for..can dis cause by hypertension? tension gle2 tahap gaban, byk masalah n pndam je, bole ke dy effect brain kte?ataupown ni adlh salah satu proses of growing up?kdg2 rse mcm mls nk mke new frens(old frens tells me dat im peramah hohoho), mcm x d perasaan terhadap pape pown d gk, ske bwat adek nanges(evryday gadow, hohoho), mls nk lyn org gk..its lyk i preffer to live in my own life, n dat life is at my own brain..pemalas...pnatnye...adoi...mercy plz..