the biggest 'pervert' ever!!

i wanna write abt wat's in my mind rite now...im realy2 jelez wit ppl who had d happiest lyf ever! hv a cool family...cool bf...cool frens...wat im trying to say here is im realy thnkful wit ppl around me currently...i do realy appreciate them bcoz they r d only person who can understand me well (bt x d bf okay! =p)...im juz envy wit those ppl...huuu im not blaming a fate...mayb Allah want me to learn sumthing dat mayb i can't learn it from anonymous..huk2...bt sumtym i do realy think y i always met d wrong guy??? criusly i realy hate guy rite now...bcoz they juz bring a mess in my head...i jus hope i cn meet a guy who cn realy understand me well(da jumpe bt im not appreciating his absence)huuu...yeah im realy sounds lyk im desperate to meet my dream guy..(uhuk2) bt...i dunno..after wat 'a' done to me..im bcome a diffrent person...'a' realy give a big impact in my lyf...he thoght me how to appreciate lyf more by being rude 2ward me...he's d biggest mistake i've ever met..huu well nothing to regret abt bcoz its already happen...u knw y i hate him sooo much??? 1st of all, he kill's my feeling slowly by let me swallow all d pain dat he causes...he always trying to find my mistake in evry point...at 1st i cn accpt it,bt with d rational thinking, not all of it is my fault! it realy2 hurt u knw...by hearing d rudeness word ever from him,from d ppl we luv, it cn mke our heart bleed..rite?dat's wat i hv to swallow...he knw dat, n i blieve he will change bt my tot r wrong...he is d reason y i bcome such a mean person...he is d reason y i've bcome 'org yg da x d perasaan'...i realy hate dis kind of situation! i luv my old self...my heart full wit angry,full wit hate toward other ppl rite now...i want all dis feeling dissappear bt i dunno how...i cn c d effect of dis feeling..(scolding nwar,saketkn ati rmai org)...n i do it uncoincidencly...huuu realy2 hurt...btw, bru2 nieh bru je balas dndm kt 'a'..huuu i knw bedose bt..i feel satify by doing dat...uhuk2...'a' is such a big LOSER with his ke'poyo'an...n perasan hensem..!!n gatal n pervert! huk2....bodo nye laki....aaaaa!!! rse cm nk bunuh dy je if bole....huuuu tp x bole...huuu...hurm...