not dat dsperate la kn..

urm..ok skrg ni pkul 2.30 pagi...x ley tdo, myb sbb da tdo jap tdi...huu..my point here is, i hate wat is in my mind rite now, keep rewind d same thing...i feel lonely..i realy need a place to lay off..umah bangi mmg x bole la kn, mke my head bcome more serabut, umah s.alam? hah kem salam je la...x taw la nape lately rse cmni...i try nk bwang feeling ni jaoh2 dr idup, bt rite now, i cant, rse cm nk nanges...realy...sumtym i bcome moody easily, n i hate dat..mkin lme idup, mkin confuse ngan diri ni...i need sum1 to hug me n say"evrything will b ok nadirah, just wait ok?" i realy2 want dat situation rite now..i cant do this alone..*sigh*..lately ni gk, x taw nape ble nmpk dy je, rse mcm nk marah je...i knw bdose, bt, perasaan ni dtg secare ttbe, cmne nk bwat dy g jaoh2? i want to feel, how 2 b normal, tlg la bg mse tuh la skjap je pown jdi la..i really2 need it...pnat pretend dat evrything is ok, to mke a gud impression 2ward those whose seeing it..2ward those who already hurt my feeling..urgh...i feel sick+tired+moody==tension..knw wat, dlu2 when dis feeling came, dat person always calm me down..i mish dat situation..sumtyms, sy jdi cpt pelupe, cpt marah, pas2 ble da calm, i 4got wat im mad for..n hard to tell to sum1 y i mad for..can dis cause by hypertension? tension gle2 tahap gaban, byk masalah n pndam je, bole ke dy effect brain kte?ataupown ni adlh salah satu proses of growing up?kdg2 rse mcm mls nk mke new frens(old frens tells me dat im peramah hohoho), mcm x d perasaan terhadap pape pown d gk, ske bwat adek nanges(evryday gadow, hohoho), mls nk lyn org gk..its lyk i preffer to live in my own life, n dat life is at my own brain..pemalas...pnatnye...adoi...mercy plz..

result????

ok my bday da lpas..nothing special, bt i realy2 appreciate to those yg wish, thru fb, sms, card, phone call! huu yg plg2 terharu----nadia klasmate sy bwat bday kad senirik utk sy, cantik! thanx cyg!--my adek ltak present bwh bntal sy, n x sdar d present tuh smpai la dy kte d sumthing bwh bantal,huuu!--has bwat sort of multimedia kad kt fb!cantik jge!--thanx byk2!! wuuu...skrg pe y plg penting, result exam kuar pkul 10 mlm ni! wuuu mmg x logik tol la uitm ni, bwat result kuar mlm..agk cuak ye disitu...mn x nye, paper power ngan cct ari2 mcm pe je jwb...same ngan ntah..tp paper power plg terok la, ngan d sokln yg pkai jwb, mcm x taw pape!damn! hopefully x repeat, wuuuu pnat la repeat2 ni, nex sem pown berat je crdit hour...aiyo2...Ya Allah, mnx2 la result ok...fuh2..huuuu,,hurm since blik umah ni, mcm2 happen..tuh senarnye sy x ske sgt blik bangi..huuu its btter being alone rather than blik bangi, bt they r my family no matter wat happen, family comes first, so try la bwat bodo ngan pape yg blaku, tp kdg2 x tahan tlpas gk...taw la bdose, tp x taw da nk wat cmne..dr tahan je perasaan tuh, n bwat mke masam, ble da lpas, criusly rse lege sket, x d bwat mke masam2..hohohoho...im glad tym my bday, dpt gayut2 tpon ngan my deary qin...mish dy gle2! lame gk gayut, dkat nk 2 jam, kowt? (thanx 2 d free call!ahkz) byk kteorg share cte, abt each others life..talking to her is like talking to myself, n d advice cn mke me feel realy2 calm...she is like my twin, watver im going through, she's in d same situation,..wuuuuu...nk pelok2 n cium2 QIn gdik ni...wuuuu (nadirah, tlg cntrl diri yer,heh)..haha..my work at my dad office alredy done, so bole relax2 sket!yay! njoy! daaa~~~

Raya Korban 2009 heee

fuh, da lame gle kot x memblog nieh...byk stori, tp cte sket da la yer..strt from raya korban..dis yr as usual blik kg melake clbrate raye memndgkn kg tuh je yg available skrg..huuu..papa bli lembu korban utk kteorg adek bearadek..at 1st, papa nk bwat utk mama ngan papa je, last2 x taw la cmne bole tuka..thanx papa...muahx! sape yg sembelih??jeng2..atok sy dan pak tam sy...hehehe...atok sy imam kg, pak tam sy bilal kg, so dyorg je yg sembelih...solat raya pown mmg atok je yg slalu imam kn kt surau..(n nme lorong kg sy Jln Imam Haji Abdullah!-name atok sy- agk bangge gk la ble bce nme lorong tuh bru2 ni...huu jakun gle)..nieh gmba2 lmbu kteorg kne korban :

                                                         

                                         lpas kne korban, keje2 bwang kulit

                                                     

                                           beberape minit lpas sembelih

then, bwat ry korban sy best sbb d sorng bdak kcik nih, anak pak busu sy..lyan je dy,,naseb baek la dy jenis yg mcm x kesa ngan org..tp tym dy kcik2 dlu x nk ngan org lak, nk ngan laki je..gatal kn?? (hehehe), tp ble dy da bsar sket n d adek bru, bru la dy nk kt smorg..nme dy Dania(x igt nme pnoh sbb pjg sgt!), n umur dy 3 thn..bdak ni cm bijak je..sket2 tanye2..sy bwk dy g tgk lembu sembelih, tp x dkat2 la, jaoh2 sket sbb sy x bole tgk darah, agipown bdak kcik kn..x elok2..huuu tym org2 tgh sembelih tuh, mcm2 karenah dy.."kakak, lmbu tuh pengsan ke?ble dy nk bgn?", "kakak, lembu tu kentut la..(pas2 dy glak2)..", "kakak, adek nk tgkp gmba lmbu tuh bole?"..n mcm2 agi la...sy pown lyn je...da x wat pape..hehehe..then, yg x bole lpe tym sy buai dy kt buaian bwh umah kt kg(dy suro buai, aci x??huu) then dy nyanyi lgu pe punye bhs tah, pas2 dy ubah2 suai lgu tuh pas2 dy glak2...(klka gk la dy ubah suai lgu tuh, sy pown ikt gelak je..hehe)..then, Dania ni mmg ske tgkp gmba, posing2 la, pas2 klaw dy tgk gmba tuh mcm x lawa, dy mnx tgkp gmba laen..isk2..bdak nieh...hehhe..then ble dy nk blik da(g kg dy yg 1 ag, kt melake gk), dy ddk je dlm kete, x nk kuar salam2 ngan org...isk rse cm nk cubit2 je bdak ni...heh..(pak busu ckp, dy ske ddk dlm kete)..hehe..hopefully pasni ble blik kg n dy ad, dy igt agi la kt family kteorg, almaklumla kteorg jrg2 blik kg..huuu..nih gmba2 dy n gmba kteorg ngan dy..::

                                      

                tmpat nieh dy yg pilih..klaw x, x nk tgkp gmba..gdik x??

                                      

                                  gmba gdik Dania agi..

                                       

                                   tuh 'peace' Dania..

blik melake, x lpas pluang gk g jln2 kt bnda hilir(as usual hehehe)...g jonker walk..rmai gle org kowt!jln mcm x jln je..tp byk gk brg best2 dy jual! (naseb baek x d duet tym nieh, mau abes gk duet kt c2) then pusing2 melake, byk gk da berubah melake ni..wuuu.. k la endz..

                

MJ..This Is It.. ^_^

okeh, now sy d penyakit perasaan, rse nk cmpk hp jap bole x??i try to put dis feeling, awaaaayyyyy from me, bt it seems mcm x bole..argh bnci tol! smalam g tgk mvie, This Is It,,not bad gk...its abt the rehearsal of This Is Is concert that supposed to be held on July 2009...tp x smpatkn sbb MJ da x d...n d concert is d last concert for him(if dy alive agi la)...mmg gmpk gle la dy nye rehearsal..(even cm blatih je pown, tp dy cm taw2 je dy x bwat konsert tuh...sbb dy nyanyi tym blatih tuh mcm btol2 dy nyanyi tok konsert tuh nnti...n sape beli tiket konsert dy mmg x rugi if konsert tuh btol2 jdi....n d 1 gurl maen bass,,fuuhh hebat gle! mcm dy lead bass,,ngan dancer mntap2 n backup singer...n sme bkan familiar person..sme org2 bru..(x lah sme sgt)..for backup dancer, ade audition di klgn org bese2 kowt n rmai gle yg g...tp mmg syg la kn, x smpt nk bwat...n dat mvie tuh dr personal video MJ senirik..dy suro org rkamkn tym dy blatih(kowt la..hahhaha)....sy bkan minat MJ sgt, bt sgt teruje ble tgk cte tuh...rse sediyh pown d gk sbb dy da blatih pnat2 kn...n im curious, is he muslim or kristian??? sbbnye d 1 scene tuh dy pkai kot d tande cross, n kdg2 pown dy mcm bwat tande cross..huu..itu kte x taw...bt 4 sure, i luv their choreography(mmg MJ bwat senirik), effect, music, realy2 SUPERB!! n MJ is a nice guy(x taw la if dlm tuh je kn hohoho) sbb ble dy mnx sum1 tlg sumthing or tuka pape music ke ape ke kn, msti dy ckp 'god bless u'..mcm soft spoken je dy tuh.. =p at least, when im watching dis mvie, x d la tpikir sgt psl perasaan2 nih...pnat la..asek saket hati psl bnd yg same n i can do nothing n its frustrating!huuuuuu....peminat MJ, g tgk This Is It! n im repeat, im nt his biggest fan bt i adore dis mvie...!klaw g btol2 konsert dy nieh, msti lgi gmpak kowttt... heeeee daa~~

oh blog! klaw ko bnde idup aku rse cm nk pelok2 n cium2 je ko...huuu i feel hurt,,really, n i dunno how to mke it go away..i wish i never knew them..oh guyz..nape slalu kne bnde yg same??rse tkilan la,wanna kill them...!! huuu..sori, luahan perasaan agi...huuu pnatlah asek kne cmni je

gimik je..jgn tertipu!hahahaha

oh blog, aku slalu tulis tym aku rse cm nk je kn???hehehe sian ko..hurm..aku juz nk btaw yg dr hari jumaat arituh smpai la ari ni rse mcm byk gle mkn! mkn sehari mau dkat rm 30 kowt..(criusly sgt byk!) n i think sbb nk period da kowt..sppsd dy dtg da tp x dtg2 agi...hurm..dgn ke'tensi'nan yg melanda..aish...im afraid nnti teros2 cmni abes la gmok..aiya...hehehehe..skrg ni byk bnd yg tgh bmaen dlm kepale....nape la org ske pndg rendah kt org laen?????n nape la dy igt dy la bole jdi ketue sme??ko igt ko tuh sape?? dh la hipokrit nk mati..dpan laki bwat mke baek..aish...nape la org cmni wujud??bwat saket ati je..klaw ko slalu bwat cmni nnti mmg ko akn kne ngan aku..n aku takowt gk aku tlpas..tgh try control nieh...org laen igt aku ikt je ckp ko gk n x berani nk wat pape???korg mmg totaly salah..aku x nk lpas sbb aku pkir org sekeliling dy je..n da la aku slalu nmpk ko...ksian kwn ko yg agi sorg..tpakse menahan perasaan je ble ko bwat mcm2 kt dy...aiyo, klaw aku jdi kwn ko tuh, mmg da lame aku bg tampar2 je kt mke ko..hurm..ko nieh mmberatkn kepale aku je..ngan test agi...mcm bagoz!

p/s= post nieh x d kne mengena sama ada yg hidup ataupown yg tlh meninggal dunie..ia dipetik dr sebuah cerpen..skian terimas! ^_^

Praying..Hoping..

going out wit fren sumtym can mke us feel better after having a hard situation...when im out wit yana n nadia, im escaping from my real lyf 4 a while.. glak2 mcm org x pna glak sethn(ye lah da lame x glak2 cm2 ngan kwn2, last pown if im not mistaken during f4 n f5)...now im facing a hard situation..which i had to b strong so i wont pass a wrong path..alhamdulillah, stakat nieh ok lagi la...hurm..ngan report yg byk yg perlu diselesaikan secept mungkin(mini projek x msuk dlm pspice agi n kne hnta nex week!terok kn?)aish..every week d test...cpt la abes sem 3 nieh...berat kepale...ngan klas pack gle..ngan my other problem..im pity wit my kaklong..she want to continue her studies, n today is a 2nd day she's at nilai college..n she facing a financial problem..she dun hv any idea to pay a fee..(at 1st my dad said he will help, now, refering to my family condition, she's reluctant to continue her study..)..she's trying to find a loan or a scholar such as ptptn n mara..hopefully she get it..n i pray she can continue her study without any obstacle..n fully hope dat our financial problem done as soon as possible..n im thank to Allah to gve me an opportunity to further my study easily..(currently im ptptn holders, n using it wisely so im nt facing a shortage)..huu.. ah, n arol, we decide, we will nt contacting each other again, mayb till 4ever...pray he always fine... n for d readers, plz pray for me too, dat i can get thru any kind of obstacle...Ya Allah, kuatkan la semangat ku untuk menghadapi hari-hari mu yg seterusnya...Amin..